Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
