clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
