I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
