FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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