The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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