He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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