I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
