so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
