whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
