This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
