Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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