I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
