Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
