your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize