I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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