if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
