Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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