Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
