Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
