a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
