idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
