my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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