how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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