apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize