there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
