This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize