what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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