i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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