My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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