Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
