So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
