let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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