I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
