Are we in a gay sports bar?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
