Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I believe in your delicious
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
