I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
