WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
