I hate your face
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
