so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
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