I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
nutella sex= disaster
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize