I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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