Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
