found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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