he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
