It's like God shit irony all over that family
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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