im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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