he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
