Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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