Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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