You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
