Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
