Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Four minutes until I can fart!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize