Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
