May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize