You're my little dorito
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
