...so i touched it.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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