What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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