I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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