Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
