he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize