You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
