If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
